Vampyres suck.
Yes, I spell it "v-a-m-p-Y-r-e" now. I mean, what else am I supposed to do?
I've been a longtime fan of the mysterious, brooding, blood-sucking, becaped, night-prowling perv.
As a self-proclaimed misfit (okay, maybe not so self-proclaimed), I've always been drawn to the more "fringe" elements of culture, vamp(y)res among them.
I've never been a vamp(y)re. I don't ever intend to be one. I get queasy at the sight of blood, and I don't like my steak anywhere near medium rare.
But, I delight in the mystery, the paradox, the irresistibility (I think I just made up another word) of the vamp(y)re.
Bram Stoker's"Dracula" was one of the coolest books I've ever read. Entirely written in letter and journal-entry format, it is one of the most spine-tingling stories ever told - still.
I read Anne Rice's first three books in her "Interview With the Vamp(y)re" series.
Perverse.
Not for the feint of heart or the innocent-hearted to consume, are the novels by Rice. Which is why I haven't continued the series. The stories simply got to a point where I could no longer justify my enjoyment of them.
Nonetheless, Rice served to perpetuate the mystique and intrigue of the vamp(y)re further.
Don't tell me you don't know where this is going.
Now we have Stephanie "Molly" Meyer who has single-handedly ruined vamp(y)res for those of us who have always loved them. (FTR, the below pic is not of my making. I "borrowed" it from another blog that was lamenting about middle aged women and their obsession with Twilight).
I remember a time when alternative music was actually "alternative" to the mainstream. I remember a time when independent music was actually produced by an "independent" record label. I remember a time when vamp(y)res were actually "vamp(y)ric" - NOT creepy teenage stalkers.
Sure, everybody deserves to enjoy the mystery that is "vamp(y)re".
BUT, now Edward mania is EVERYWHERE.
You see, the once brooding, shadow-hidden vamp(y)re is now a Molly Mormon icon. Vamp(y)res have now sold out. I'm not sure what's worse: the fact that "Twilight" now has a hallowed place on the bookshelf next to the scriptures, or that Mollys feel so repressed due to the insane workaholicism (another made-up word) of LDS men, that they require such escapism...
Okay. I've officially just pissed off a lot of people.
But I'm pissed off that I now have to go find something else mainstream America hates. It's quite tiring trying to stay ahead of the cultural curve.
After all, I'm ALREADY Mormon. I guess that will never be cool, so I can take satisfaction in that.
However... Jesus is becoming increasingly cool in the underground scene. I recently found a page on Myspace devoted to "Christian Goths and Emos", and the guitarist from the band Tool, Adam Jones, is now a Jesus freak.
So, you never know.
7 comments:
I don't understand the craze myself. I read through them expecting them to amaze and astound me at some point, but it never happened. So they are still uncool in my world, which, you will be pleased to note, makes me an outcast in the land of Mollys and more than half of the female population. But at least I'm cool in your eyes :)
Ahhh me. So you've given up on vampires, why not give La Chupacabra some play? He's like a vampire only less mysterious and brooding.
And he likes salsa music.
And corn.
And large family gatherings.
Wayne, you MUST watch the rifftrax of Twilight. It is epic in its mockery of that flick. You will love it.
What the fre(e)k? You know you love jello salad and funeral potatos as much as Edward the vamp(y)re. He's so hot right now.
Wayne, you didn't say whether or not you've actually READ "Twilight." Have you? (I haven't.) How about the movie; have you seen it? (I haven't.)
Anyway, you wrote: "But I'm pissed off that I now have to go find something else mainstream America hates."
Say what? I thought mainstream America LIKES Twilight.
Wayne, I have not read "TW", nor seen the movie. Diana and Angie told me enough. Gina and Kelly LOVE it, and that is OK. but, I too have always liked Vampyres as monsters of choice. They've now been mainstreamed by an LDS writer! I wonder if Chris Feehan knows Stephanie? Chris' books are not "nicey", nor boarderline, they are "deadly serious" (pun intended). She makes a fortune writing about them and is one of the best sellers in the country.
I too enjoyed "Dracula" very much. Real art.
I don't "love" Twilight! I did enjoy the books though. Call it a "little girl" fantasy/adventure! I like a bit of entertaing and light reading... I do, however find the idea of "Edward" though. The character is the ideal man; handsome, a bit dangerous, chaste, and honerable. I think it is so popular because here is finally a male who actually can control all of his "appitites". It is a fun spin on the "macabre".At least there is NO Pre-marital sex....or is that why you don't like it...Humm.....?
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